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This is a piece I requested froma Nun named STEPHANIE DIPILLA in the Pope`s convent. Though reticent at first, she came `round to share soon enough. Comment at hishighholyness.thepope@gmail.com
high school tuck and roll
i like facebook and myspace for various reasons..one being they help me communicate with old high school friends. conversations of ‘what have you been up to?’ have never been easier.
because if i see you in public…i will avoid you..yes, the ol’ high school tuck and roll..i’m an avoider..i never thought i would be. i had a pleasant high school experience and was friendly with lots of people (very few exceptions) so i never thought i would quietly walk by the clothing rack hoping to dodge someone. but alas, here i am.
there are two very solid reasons why up to this point in my life, i have avoided many people.
a. if you had asked me not too long ago, i would have told you i was unemployed, living at home, no boyfriend and no direction. that reality is something you have to live with everyday and think about everyday….and that’s not definitely something i want to tell someone i haven’t seen in a few years. because what would i tell you? how depressing would that conversation be? if god forbid i did happen to fall on someone from the past, i would happily change the subject (expert deflector i am) and let them talk about themselves till the cows come home. basically, it would seem to the other person that nothing had changed since i left high school.
b. if you ask me now what i’m up to….well…lol..things have changed..i’m employed (at least twice over), have a boyfriend, have my own apt, and have a direction…except the only problem is that my direction embarrasses me. i have ‘actor’s shame’. i am embarrassed to be an actor. it all comes from society’s view and portrayl of actors. plus, saying you’re an actor here in ny is like saying you’re from america (yes, exactly). it’s really quite weird because i’ve been acting since i was eight years old..you would think i would be fine with it. in layman’s terms, saying you’re an actor is like saying you lay around the house all day in your pjs…it’s that ‘oh why don’t you get a real job’ look or the ‘wow, are you sure you want to be an actor, my cousin…blah blah blah BLAH.’ people don’t really want to hear that you’re an actor unless you’re on broadawy or you were the tree in a production with ethan hawke. i don’t want to tell people because then i would have to explain..i would have to give a rundown of my credits and a brief synopsis of my recent auditions….to actually seem legit. i wish i was an accountant so i can say, ‘yes, i’m an accountant.’
conversation over and done.
so if you’re reading this..and you have noticed me slink behind some kind of tree or car..it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU…it’s all me…and i’m sorry 😦
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