Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog

The Ten SMUGMANDMENTS; or “Oh, yeah, I totally see why you would think that.”
January 27, 2010, 8:28 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Smug [smuk] is a settlement in the administrative district of Gmina Debrzno, within Człuchów County, Pomeranian Voivodeship, in northern Poland. That is, according to wikipedia. But smug is also present in your coffeeshop, bikeshop, dating site, office and neighborhood.

This destructive phenomenon, once thought to only be confined to slacker philopsophy majors in College, take many different forms. it is guilty of inflating the egos of the worthless, adding insult to injury, adding insult to annoyance, and countless loaded sighs.

The flaw in assessing smug lies in typeology. Its all opinion, nobody who is actually smug thinks they smug, they think YOU are smug for not praising the greatness of the being that is them.

So, by decree of the Pope of Astoria,a working dictionay of SMUG.

1. If you are a software developer, and wear Star Wars Pj`s to work when everyone else has to wear collars, khakis, and ties=SMUG

2. If you an attorney, you went to a top law school and yet instead of embracing the vapid lifestyle that affords you elect to do pro-bono, non-profit, or contract work for the disadvantaged mostly so you can tell bartenders at gastropubs or your former classmates at reunions about how great it makes you feel=SMUG

3.You have facial hair. You dont need it unless you are mushing dogsleds in alaska for a living. But you grow it to silently say to your fellow men, “pffft, anyone can grow hair on their head, but can you grow lightning bolts on your cheeks?”=SMUG

4. You only call your friends to make plans when you have a girlfriend that prevents you from making plans so you can tell your friends, “Sorry bro, but I got plans with the girl tonight” knowing full well before you called your friends that you had plans=SMUG

5.You have skimmed half of a Friederich Nietzche book and look for any excuse to quote it to anyone you are pretty sure hasnt read it=SMUG

6. You let your friends make sports bets, then watch the game with them and when they lose shake your head, smirk and say “See, I told you so. Such a bad idea to bet on the team you bet on”=SMUG

7. You work at a coffee shop, and constantly correct customers` pronounciations of the coffee drinks and indie music playing without making eye contact=SMUG

8. At the bar, you roll your eyes every time someone orders a Budweiser or a Miller Lite. Even if the bar is in a train station=SMUG

9. In an elevator, you immediately stop your conversation and look coldly straight ahead while flexing your jaw and puffing out your chest if women get on=SMUG

10. You high five the valet while getting into your car. Instead of tipping him.=SMUG

So, there you have it. And in terms of bets, by Papal decree GO SAINTS!!!


Another week gone, another Brand Ambassador contest entered
January 20, 2010, 1:51 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is a video that Steph ( Steph DiPilla, for those of you unfamiliar) and I submitted for the SAMSUNG 2010 Mobile Explorers contest. Apparently, if you win you get to go to Vancouver and follow the Olympians around with a suite of Samsung mobile gadgets. I think ours was pretty good for two hours` worth of work, but I think in the end the prettiest, dumbest people won out.