Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog

February 6, 2011, 1:25 pm
Filed under: Papal Wisdom

Inside the Pope`s Diocese, there has been an interest in the recent inquiry by a faithful girl in New Jersey. One of the less reputable members of the flock here in Astoria of the male designation submitted a salvo of questions directly to Jerzette, and I have published the responses in the interest of fairness.

1. why do you guys post yourselves on dating sites, yet never respond to messages even though your profile EXPLICITLY says you are looking for someone? PLUS ,……YOU ARE ON A DATING SITE, NOT AN “I NEED ATTENTION” SITE!!!!

Either A. because we lost interest and haven’t checked our profile in ages or B. because we don’t think you’re cute.

2. why do you let boyfriends Commit a mistake past the point of reconciliation before confronting them about it?
We always wait for you to come around and realize what you’ve done. I think women feel that when they do something they think of all the possibilities and every person’s possible feelings involved. So we think men will do the same thing. We don’t feel that we need to comment until obviously it gets very far out of hand. Partly, we also want you to mind read. We think that being in a relationship that our partner will know us inside and out so we will feel that they will know what we’re thinking all the time and we won’t have to tell you when you do something’ll just know. This is obviously not the smartest idea because communication is key.

3. Why is EVERYTHING about your family and friends?
Family is very important to us because one day we want to have a family of our own. For most of us at least, our moms are our best friends and the most important people in our lives. Plus, our family has always been there for us (no offense, way before you were even a glint in our eyes..hahaha sorry). The same attitude towards friends. Girl time is so important so we can gossip (mostly about you) and laugh and be stupid. Girl time is a release and allows us to emotionally bond with like minded people who understand.

4. Why do you always have to do the opposite of what you claim you want to do? (think ordering food in restaurants and not eating it, saying you want to work out and then eating ice cream in front of the TV is your sweatpants, etc.)
Part of this is being indecisive….’it’s a girl’s prerogative to change her mind.” And we do THAT a lot. We love you and want your approval and we want to include you in the decision. So when we ask you “Do you want to order Chinese food?” We truly want your opinion. Saying, “I don’t know dear, whatever you want,” does not help in the slightest. We always have 20 reasons why we ask you something. Most of the time, questions are never simple. For example, when we ask you if you want to eat Chinese because 1. We really want to eat it but don’t want to seem like a pig because we ate it last week so we need your approval 2. We’re really lazy and don’t want to cook but we want your approval that it’s ok, etc and so forth. To some degree we say things because we want you to feel highly of us but do the opposite because we’re feeling lazy that day (gym and sweatpants) or don’t want to look fat (ordering and not eating food). However, when you’re in doubt, it’s because we don’t want to seem fat.

5. Why do you have to eat off of our plates when you have your own food in front of you?
Because you’re my boyfriend and I can. Couples do those kinds of things, right? And your food is different and was something I was thinking about ordering so I’m just going to help myself!

6. Why do you feel the urge to keep seeing/talking to/fucking ex boyfriends without the intention of ever getting back together?
We need the attention. We need to feel that we are worthy and beautiful. When you are lonely or have just broken up with a guy you think about getting confirmation from somebody (what better person then that ex boyfriend who tried his hardest to get you back), some kind of love and affection. So unfortunately, we go for easy targets.

7. What the fuck is the deal with letting EVERYONE know that you LOVE TO LAUGH?!?!?!? Who DOESNT like laughing? Seriously, why does that make you so unique?
Because we think it makes us sound like a fun, happy, easy going lady.

4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

i love it

Comment by facebook

I live to serve, I live to serve.

Comment by thepopeofastoria

yeah nice

Comment by kathy

i like this segment

Comment by L

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