Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog

April 13, 2011, 5:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dearest Pissed in Paris,

What an interesting situation to find yourself in. Do you want the short answer? ACCENT. Do you want the long answer? ACCENT. They dumped you because the other guy had an accent. It’s quite shallow, isn’t it? Let me explain.

To me, it sounds like these two Yanks wanted to go out and party. So they thought you would be a good candidate (as I’m sure you’re young, strapping and handsome). Most likely because you did not engage in any witty banter or sexual inuendo they were disinterested. I think they also wanted you to ask them and convince them to go out because…and here’s the shocker — we like it when the man takes charge. And you didn’t. Then they saw an Aussie. Girls get weak in the knees for any kind of accent (with some exceptions — sorry NY and Boston….although it works on some girls). It doesn’t matter what he looked like. He had an accent. Accent = exotic and fun.

Don’t feel bad that these girls ditched you. It doesn’t sound like you wanted their kind of fun anyway (ie puking on the streets of a foreign country, living out their crazy European fantasies and propagating the American stereotype — loud, obnoxious and of course, ignorant.) Kudos to you…you enjoyed Europe without the drama.

If you need me, you know where to find me.

xo Jerzette


The “Better Than” principle
April 12, 2011, 2:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

this is another submission by a male member of the parish of Astoria, and, as Pope, I decree it should be answered.



So, I just spent some time in Europe, it was cool. Anyway, one of the nights of my stay, I had to book a hostel instead of a hotel. I was put in a mixed dorm of 6 beds, with male and female roommates. Two of my roommates were sisters from the US. That night they both got dressed to go out ( and impress) and then sat around the room with “nothing to do”. They asked me if I wanted to go to dinner,…I accepted, as I had nothing to do either. Dinner was enjoyable, no sexual innuendo, no awkwardness, just easily pleasant.  They both kept mentioning how tired they were, how much they didnt want to go out, how much they didnt want to drink, etc. I found this odd since I hadnt suggested doing any of the above. Anyway, on the walk back tot the Hostel, they ran into some Australian guy outside. He was fat, bearded, drunk and smoking, but they both ditched me to go perch by him and chatter on and on about nothing. ( the guy was barely forming sentences at this point)  they then proceeded to go out  with him until 2 or 3 ( I know because they made loads of noise when they came back to the room) My question is, what is the grading scale/ strategy for girls when it comes to “dumping one guy and trading up tot he better option?” Was I supposed to pay for everything, laugh for no reason and talk about ho magnificent my p#nis is in order to have them on my bar tab all night?

Thanks Pope,

Pissed in Paris ( sort of)