Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog

April 13, 2011, 5:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dearest Pissed in Paris,

What an interesting situation to find yourself in. Do you want the short answer? ACCENT. Do you want the long answer? ACCENT. They dumped you because the other guy had an accent. It’s quite shallow, isn’t it? Let me explain.

To me, it sounds like these two Yanks wanted to go out and party. So they thought you would be a good candidate (as I’m sure you’re young, strapping and handsome). Most likely because you did not engage in any witty banter or sexual inuendo they were disinterested. I think they also wanted you to ask them and convince them to go out because…and here’s the shocker — we like it when the man takes charge. And you didn’t. Then they saw an Aussie. Girls get weak in the knees for any kind of accent (with some exceptions — sorry NY and Boston….although it works on some girls). It doesn’t matter what he looked like. He had an accent. Accent = exotic and fun.

Don’t feel bad that these girls ditched you. It doesn’t sound like you wanted their kind of fun anyway (ie puking on the streets of a foreign country, living out their crazy European fantasies and propagating the American stereotype — loud, obnoxious and of course, ignorant.) Kudos to you…you enjoyed Europe without the drama.

If you need me, you know where to find me.

xo Jerzette