Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog

“Woul, I dont understand why guys take breakups so haaaaard?”
June 30, 2011, 2:26 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Natalie: yeah, you want to go out and stay in
in your own way
im still really hung up on why guys take breakups so hard
i want to like research that

me: ok
imagine you are at the michigan dunes
the nice ones
and you drove a long fucking time to get ther
you have someone with you
and you walk out onto the sand
and start to play
and it goes well
so you figure, well, i guess we should build a sandcastle?
and you start building
they help
and then they decided that you`re better at it, so you should just keep building while they lay there and eat and call their MAAAAHM to tell her how hard you are building the sandcastle
and how its totally nicer than the one Jeannie Feldshuh`s husband the internist is building and she should be so pround of her vagspring
so, you keep building
and it gets higher and higher
and more and more opulent
you started with just sand
but its really looking great
and you are proud
me: then, at some point, you finish
and your vag looks at it
allll your hard work
alllll your sacrifice
and she seems un moved by it
and tells you to sit down next to her
and buries your hands in the sand so “she can talk to you, …really”
and then goes into an illogical, hurtful, offensive, emotionally laced, selfish, BETCHY explanation of why she is going to destroy your sandcastle
nee, why she NEEDS to destroy your sandcastle
which to a cack sounds like
” I deserve to destroy all this hard work you have done partly for yourself, but mostly for me”
then she goes over the the water, whistles with her fingers in her mouth
and a huge whale flies from the water, and demolishes your sandcastle
me: then, she hops on the whales back and says “I want you to know that I`ll always love youl, but im not IN LOVE with you, and that we can be friends, because we are in each others lives, even though IM riding away on this whale and prolly will talk shit about you for at least 2.5 years”
which makes no sense
and there you are
on a beach
with sand in your shorts
your hands bound
staring at the site where everything you had built for yourself, for her, for your future, once was
and now, its just a hole tin the ground taht that bitch felt she had a right to create
she leaves you with babbling, half drunk logic on why fucking a bunch of guys is really “all about you” and a fucking haughty, self -entitled decree on why shes “so brave” for fucking up your sandcastle


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