Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog


I am your Compass Rose for Emotions…..Amen
April 27, 2012, 8:16 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Hello My Child-

I assume you have been well given your conspicuous absence from my Parish, as we all know that the Pope`s wisdom is more fulfilling than rolling face with your besties at a Skrillex show where the Fat Jew is tripping on acid and running around with an air rifle. I have answered your prayers below.

Be well my child

In the name of the Briere, the Giroux and Halladay,

Pope

1. Is it OK to have an office relationship?

-NO. NEVER. IF YOU WANT TO DATE, THATS FINE, BUT ONE OF YOU MUST LEAVE THE COMPANY FIRST. ITS JUST NOT WORTH IT OTHERWISE.

2. Are guys on the lookout to date co-workers?

-NO. GUYS ARE ON THE LOOKOUT TO B*ANG CO-WORKERS WHO GET TOO TIPSY AT THE XMAS PARTY. THAT IS A GENERALIZATION AND IF ROMANCE DOES BLOOM IN THE WORKPLACE, AS IT IS WANT TO DO GIVEN THAT WORK TAKES THE PLACE OF SCHOOLING IN TERMS OF SOCIALIZING DURING ADULTHOOD, REFER TO ANSWER #1.

3. Since there is a very delicate line in the working world, how would you know if a guy was interested in you?

– THE BEST WAY TO TELL IS A DISPROPORTIONATELY LARGE AMOUNT OF ATTENTION. (I.E. IF YOU SPEND ALL DAY GCHATTING OR INTRA-OFFICE IM`ING ABOUT NOTHING, HES PROBABLY INTO YOU)

4. How do I approach a guy at work that I’m interested in?

-CAREFULLY. WAIT FOR THE SIGNS FIRST AND BRING IT UP OUTSIDE OF WORK (PARKING LOT, COMPANY PICNIC, ETC)

5. Are there any do’s and dont’s in office romances?

-YES. DONT DO IT UNLESS ONE OF YOU LEAVES THE COMPANY FIRST

6. There is a co-worker that likes me, and I am not interested. How can get my point across that I’m not interested but not hurt his feelings?

-THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE FIX, BUT PEOPLE TEND TO APPLY THE SAME RULES AS THEY DO IN EVERYDAY LIFE. ALL YOU NEED SAY IS “I CANT, WE WORK TOGETHER AND ITS JUST A BAD IDEA” PROBLEM SOLVED……YOURE WELCOME.

7. There is a new hire who just arrived yesterday. He is really nice and quite attractive. How do I approach him? Also, by employment standards, I am the low man on the totem pole (part-time intern) and I look incredibly young. He is a full-time employee and is around my age. I don’t want him to think I am a 22 year old kid! But how would I drop a hint that I am older and wiser?

-BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT RELEVANT CULTURAL EVENTS TO YOUR AGE. “CAN YOU BELIEVE ITS BEEN 20 YEARS SINCE PEARL JAM`S  “TEN” CAME OUT???  I KNOW I CANT”   IS A GREAT START

8. Speaking of, since I look young, do you think that prevents guys from coming up to talk to me?

-NO, BUT IT MAY DISTORT WHAT THEY WANT FROM YOU. YOUNGER GIRLS ARE NOTORIOUSLY MORE FICKLE AND NAIVE THAN OLDER WOMEN. YOU JUST NEED TO SHOW HIM YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AN AMAZING 5 YEARS AS OPPOSED TO AN AMAZING 5 MINUTES

9. Is flirting with co-workers OK? When does it cross the line?

-FLIRTING IS FINE, IN SOME INSTANCES IT CAN HELP YOU; LIKE IF THE IT GUY HAS A CRUSH ON YOU. BUT IT CROSSES THE LINE WHEN IT BECOMES OVERTLY SEXUAL RATHER THAN JUST PLAYFUL INNUENDO.

The mass is ended, go in peace to love and serve Astoria.

 

 

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