Thepopeofastoria’s Weblog

April 3, 2013, 11:13 pm
Filed under: Papal Wisdom, Uncategorized

ok, ok, I know…`re fucking “special” you “just light up a room” (according to your Aunt Marian) and in allll your high school dance/ sorority/fraternity formal photos you always struck a “different” pose than everyone.  And because of this and your either wildly out of check or profoundly insecure ego, you chose to major in Theater/Painting/Vocal Performance/ International Affairs & Interpretive dance….


An arts degree in this era`s job market is pretty close to getting a Nazi tattoo on your fucking forehead. Its a terrible fucking idea, nobody will believe your rationale even if they say they do, and its permanent. ITS A PERMANENT FUCK UP.  Maybe you`re a rich kid who`s father owns a successful company and he`s going to hire you no matter what, still no safety. Everyone who isnt your Dad`s spawn worked really hard to get there and they want to know exactly what kind of kid they are going to have to babysit. Once they find out you think youre an actor or rockstar your credibility is pretty much shot with them too. Here are the top reasons why youre a dumbfuck if you go to college for an art degree:

1) See Nazi forehead tattoo analogy

2) People will ALWAYS think you are either stupid or emotionally unstable

3) You spent 4 years learning exactly zero useful real word skills. Doing a sound and movement exercise called “What IS a spreadsheet? : a 9/11 retrospective” is nowhere near the same as knowing how to use a pivot table or vlookup.

4) You severely limit your power to negotiate…..anything. This is because a) you never learned how or what regular people want or need and b) by getting an arts degree you “signal” (in the economic sense, look it up James Dean!) that you are juuuust fine and dandy being a low level drone and willing to accept whatever “direction” you are given. Training as an artist  in an academic setting actually kills your free thinking ability because in order to grade you they need an objective goal for you to hit, which becomes your ability to “take direction”.  Do you think Bill Gates waited to find out what his “character motivation” was, NO he did not. He built Microsoft, what the fuck did you do today? Learn more lines from Fight Club and skip class? Greeeeaaaaat…..

5) NOBODY FUCKING CARES.  This is the one that I think shocks most 19-21 year old dipshits the most. I know, you `ve been told your whole life that everything you do or think is unique and deserves a spot on the grand fridge of life. It very well might, but until you convince at least 100,000 people to think exactly like your dear old mom and dad, it doesn`t amount to a hill of catshit.( oh, also fuck your cat and its stupid artistic name). is this a shock? Absolutely. Is it fair? Absolutely not.  Is it the way it is?  Always has been.  People talk about following their passion all the time. This is good advice except they leave out the portion about having to sacrifice, make the tough choices and work very, very hard to earn that chance. Arts programs do you a grave disservice by helping you buy into the fact that its all the fluffy bullshit that matters.

6) The arts is a business, but its the shittiest run business in the world. Its full of selfish, pathological assholes who need to affirm their self worth by keeping others down. Its a vicious, negative, ugly cycle that takes perfectly able people and wastes the 20 best years of their lives in dining rooms and bars waiting on assholes who most certainly can only pay for people to hand around and be nice to them.

That being said, if you are young, swallow this pill and take some action. If you really love sculpting, or painting, or whatever, thats fine. You should follow it up, but the fact is nobody can be prolific and do anything for 24 hours a day. Having no job to “work on your craft” just leads to getting drunk in your friends` kitchens and getting into fights with your boyfriend/girlfriend because you have no direction no job and nothing to show for it. Don`t get it twisted, having a restaurant job is just subsidized alcoholism. You work odd hours, you get out at 2am with a hand full of cash and all your other addict co-workers egging you on. You wake up the next day at 3 in the afternoon hungover, and you have to be back to do it all over again at 5, so where did your creative time go?

Every artist needs a patron, and this not being 1613, we all have to be our own patrons. Would it really be so terrible to get an accounting or finance or MIS degree and have a real job to support yourself?  You can buy all the pottery clay you need, you can audition on weekends, you can take exotic vacations to get yourself some inspiration for paintings. THATS how people make it. Its never overnight, it just looks that way.

How do I know this? Because I was once you, I made the huge fucking mistake of huffing my own farts and it fucked me. Im in business school now, and EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW all they want to talk about is acting. Its like being a convicted sex offender, it just wont go away. I wish someone would have told me this at 20, I might have listened.

Art is a hobby, its not a job. If it becomes a job, you`ve gotten lucky. If not, they be happy with whatever fulfillment it gives you and go out and live a good life in spite of the allure of fame.